My solution to stop bogus racially motivated police reports

So some chick in Michigan embezzled from the Post Office where she worked and made a 911 call all about how a brownish guy with an accent and FUBU robbed the post office, snuck a peek at her boobies and ran off. The prompted a manhunt and she was found to have made the whole thing up.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/22573640/detail.html

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Personally she would ahve been smarter to say it was some guy who looked like everyone else there because everyone else knew there were no FUBU wearing brothas anywhere near that town.

This sort of stuff isn't new but I'm getting real tired of it and I have some solutions for us, my Black People. Hispanics/Latinos may feel free to adopt these rules. People of other races/cultures and political leanings can rent the DVD and take what you like.

Step 1: Black people need to just up and stop committing armed robbery. Period.

If it could be established that there wa sa period of time in which no armed robberies were committed by us, then the next person that comes along and screams, "a black guy stole my _____ and then he made me take off my pants and wear this fraternity hat and sweatshirt and drink all that hooch", we could be like, umm...dude, didn't you get the memo? Blacks just don't do robbery.

Then they can go to interview people:

Reporter: "We spoke to Mr. Jerwood Dinkins of W. 63rd st. and he had this to say..."

Mr. Dinkins: "Yeah we heard all about that robbery mess but hell after Obama made it through a year in office and no one came and formed a human chain to keep him from getting to work, that we should give give that up. Folks use to knock you in the head all the time but now it's past time to get our shit together so much that we make for bad racial profiling."

Reporter: "It just seems unlikely. Robbery is such a staple of a crime.."

Dinkins: "Sure it is but so was stealing horses once upon a time. Now horse thieving is better left to fiction and so is armed robbery."

See? Problem solved.

I have other solutions too but we'll go one step at a time.

I mean this chick in Michigan was stealing from the USPS wasn't she? Who the hell believes that a brotha in FUBU is going to steal stamps anyway. She would have been better off saying the following:

"He came in and was kinda white, middle aged, had nicely trimmed nails and sounded somewhat responsible if not a little bit socially challenged. From his voice I could surmise that he wad an underinflated ego and sense of self worth. His shoes were brown and comfortable. He has a ski mask but I bet he had a comb over."

She could have described a cross between Steve Carrell and Dana Carvey and the manhunt could have lasted YEARS. They'd make an episode of Criminal Minds all about it.

But nooooo, she has to go and make it sound like black people are so desperate to mail bills that we'll rip you off for stamps and take the cash too.

America, we CAN move forward!

Thank you.