So we all know what happens when a Brotha is cast in some critical role in an Action or Sci Fi film. He either becomes the Sacrificial Negro or the Magical Negro. Technically this can happen to a Black man even when he's not in movies but I saw the new Don Cheadle joint, "Traitor" last night and I have to tell you that we need a new category.
We need a category that encapsulates when the US Government needs a Brotha to go into hostile territory, do some crazy stuff with his life all on the line and then jerks him around while he does it.
I'm not spoiling the movie for you because you aren't going to see the movie anyway.
Here's the trailer that will make you want to see the shit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmM4bo96cI8
So yeah from this trailer, I thought I was gonna see some really cool movie along the lines of the Fugitive but with my guy Don Cheadle in the leading role.
Nope... It was more like Showtime's Sleeper Cell: the Movie
So a black man is trained by the US as a Special Forces guy. He converts to Islam because his dearly departed daddy was a Muslim and then this makes him perfect for sending over seas as a spy to infiltrate big time radical, fundie factions of Islam in places like Yemen, Syria and wherever.
Then when he gets into the confidence of the bad guys, he uses his mad army ninja skills to blow stuff up to impress the hell out of Bin Laden and they boys.
This is all well and good except every time Don is anywhere making a big boom, our boys let him down by allowing civilians into the scene to be killed.
Did this ever happen to Tom Cruise? When it happened to Matt Damon it was totally a plot point about his GF getting killed and then he went hunting for that blond chick.
If it was James Bond, he would have had a bystander detector in his watch and gotten everyone out while having sex with a high end fashion designer.
WHITEY LET CHEADLE DOWN!
This sort of stuff happens all throughout this film. Cheadle's CIA handler is killed because he doesn't respect Don enough to let him know when and how to meet with him. He just plants a tracker on my man and shows up, bold as you please, while Don is about to meet with the bad guys.
Does this happen to Clooney? Hell no. Hell even Jennifer Garner and the cats on MI-5 had a series of codes set up for good guy meets.
I've noticed that Jamie Fox and Will Smith are getting deep into the Defenders of Justice sort of Movie roles. If you saw The Kingdom then you know just how much they ran Jamie's ass around before he could solve a crime. I know you didn't see it but Jason Bateman had to catch a bullet because Whitey needed to sacrifice one of their own to teach Jamie a lesson.
Also, when a Brotha is in charge of bringing folks to justice, Whitey will shoot the suspect to death every damn time. I'm not talking about the way that Bond will have to do a double tap to put down the big bad nympo arms dealer with the diamond breasts. Nah, she can't go to jail.
Everyone else gets to catch a guy and let that street cred rise up a bit in the halls of justice. You know, the line is always, "It's over______________" and then the hero wants to kill he guy but he can't because he'd be just like the bad guy.
You know that one.
When a Brotha is down for reading the Miranda rights, some nondescript SWAT guy always has to take out the bad guy with a movie ending bast of glory stealing.
This movie is no different. We need a Brotha to get to Osama but we can't possibly bring Osama in and put his ass in the Box and let them dudes from the Shield work on him for a few hours. Nope.
Cheadle, like most of the Brothas of Justice, has to reason with the bad guy (whom he sees the good in) and then the bad guy does something twitchy and SWAT punches his damn ticket.
Listen, I know White America isn't going to see this movie because Don Cheadle isn't saving little black kids. Yall saw the shit out of Hotel Rwanda. Black America isn't gonna see it because their still trying to figure out if any of these movies have a black cowboy porn star in them.
If Tyler Perry was doing a Don Cheadle movie you'd better believe Cheadle, Mike Epps and Mo'Nique would be the funniest bunch of baptist Postal workers to ever sit and moan around the bed of their dying Grandmother.
Luckily Don Cheadle isn't doing that because Whitey is too busy tricking him into doing a movie called, of all things, Traitor, where my man has to not just compromise his standing with the law but also with Allah of all people.
I won't even get into how many times Guy Pearce is standin around being the ambassador to Islam too while Cheadle is off dodging feds through the projects.
All I know is that this movie would have been different if the lead was played by Bruce Willis. Hollywood would have had him killing terrorists and driving through Yemen in a Ford Mustang.
Don't Trust Whitey
